margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
