why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
As shirtless as possible
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
