We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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