It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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