Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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