I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
