Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
