I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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