ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
