Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize