Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
