he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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