Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
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I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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