It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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