i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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