Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize