woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
