I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
