Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
