when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
its liver damage thursday
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
