I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
