It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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