I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize