He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
why do cheetos always look like penises
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
