I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
