It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How does one acquire holy water?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
