Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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