Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
