Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
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I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
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Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize