You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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