fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
