someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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