this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
