Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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