I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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