I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
