i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
