i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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