3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
