Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
