Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
