tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
