new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
