Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
