Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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