He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
