White coat. Heels.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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