Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.