ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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