dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
