Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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