I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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