he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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