trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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