Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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