When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
