Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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