you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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