don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
