i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize