Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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