On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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