My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
