Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.