When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
