don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.