a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.