ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad